You probably think it’s hard to change your mind.
We’ve all heard the saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
But the truth is, you can change your mind by following a simple process. It starts with a commitment to change.
To begin the process… let’s look at why so many people are checked out!
Processing and Checking Out
You do not process because you’re a processor.
You do not analyze because you are an analyzer.
You do not think because you are a thinker, and you do not check out because you have checked out.
You do this because it is a conditioned behavior.
Being checked out means that rather than being and staying attentive… you tell yourself you have to move on. You tell yourself you don’t know the answer.
A person who checks out tends to talk in long riddles. The person uses long, slow statements. They don’t answer questions.
Why does this happen?
Did you grow up with passive-aggressive people in your circle of influence?
If you did… it’s common to have to explain, validate, and justify your existence.
BUT what does checking out mean?
Here’s my interpretation. You tend to go into your analyzing mind to resolve a problem. You are overthinking decisions. You believe you can think your way of a challenge. Overthinking is your method of control.
If you grew up in a situation where you might get in trouble, be invalidated, judged, or criticized…
…It’s common to become overly careful in your communication style.
You’ll use umm, uh-huh, well, and okay. These words create a sense of uncertainty when you speak. This way of speaking feels safe, BUT it keeps you procrastinating.
Part of your left-brain’s process is to resolve problems.
If you perceive a situation to be painful, your left-brain will do what it is conditioned to do. It will teach you to avoid the perceived pain. This is why people avoid success—yet they tell themselves they’re avoiding failure.
Overthinking about rejection and abandonment causes anxiety.
By not failing, you stay disappointed.
Repressing situations and events keep you stuck. To move forward and change your mind, you must understand your past and how it affects you today.
Repression happens when you hold on to events that shape your feelings.
Negative emotions… typically guilt, shame, abandonment, grief, rejection, anger, and resentment… are stored in the body without you consciously knowing they are there. When you don’t have a memory of these emotions, and you are unable to release them. They will remain repressed or suppressed.
When I initially ask my coaching clients why they do what they do, I receive a lot of…
“Huh, I don’t know.”
“I’m not sure.”
“I had a good childhood.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t remember.”
If you hold on to events that shape your feelings, you’ll repress your feelings. You will tell yourself…
…”I don’t remember my childhood.”
…“My whole childhood was a blur.”
…“Up until age eleven, I have no memory.”
This is a state is called denial.
It means a large percent of what happened to you between zero and seven years old is repressed. Those events are in a lockbox. You don’t want to know because you tell yourself you don’t want to feel the pain.
Here’s the reality of the situation. When you’re no longer the mind-body connection to the pain of the past… you’ll be free of pain.
Instead of living with a sinus migraine headache, you become clear and understand why you do what you do. The mind-body connection to a sinus headache is usually related to someone close to you. You feel irritated due to someone creating stress, sadness, or anger. As you let go of the symptoms and start to address the cause, you can let go of the ailment. You can change the way you feel.
When you’re in recovery, you will ascend on the emotional scale of energy. You’ll start to live in an aware state. You’ll love who you’re becoming.
As you move into a level of higher vibration, you’ll start to live in joy and bliss. You’ll begin to attract your reality, events, people, situations, and opportunities that will fulfill your dreams. Your attractor factor begins to change.
In the mid-nineties, this happened to me.
Change Your Mind
Due to some poor choices, I was left holding the bag on a large amount of unsecured credit card debt. I had reached an emotional and financial rock bottom. The situation had to change. I had been struggling for a number of years and didn’t understand what breakthroughs meant.
I had ten years of sobriety at that time.
BUT… I was still a very resentful, angry addict.
My anger wasn’t as covert as it was repressed. I felt I could fake myself through it. In reality… I was very uncomfortable in this state. So uncomfortable that my body began to react to the stimulus I was creating. I developed migraine headaches and was grinding my teeth.
I got clear and began to break through as I had a better understanding of why I did what I did. I started to reflect in rigorous honesty without justifying or criticizing myself. When I had a better understanding of why I did what I did, I was able to separate my feelings from the events.
My energy began to shift.
I became the most focused I’d ever been. I was in a relaxed yet intense state of production. I wasn’t neurotic about production. I was committed to production and committed to results. I knew that the only way out of the situation I had created was to out produce my problems.
In reality, you don’t want to create problems. You want to create results.
But if you’ve created problems, you want to tell yourself:
“This is the end of the era.”
“This is the death of the anxious ego.”
“There will be no more cheat days as of today.”
“I’m using empowering language and affirmations to foster my purpose.”
“I’m no longer the mind-body connection.”
“I’m the leader that people are looking for.”
There’s no time stamp on change. Change is now. Change is when you’re ready. Change is when you let go of the cause that creates the effect of what you hold onto.
Changing is not “How do I change?”
Change is “I am changing.”
When you separate your feelings from the past, you’re able to let go of why you do what you do. This is how you change your mind.