We all are creatures of habit.
The question is…
Do you have empowering habits?
Take a look at how your habits affect you.
Do your habits keep you in an emotional state where you feel guilty, shameful, or disappointed?
If they do… it’s time for a change. Time to move up the ladder of emotional resilience.
To break through in 2019, create new emotional habits.
Letting Go of Rebellion
And now the classic “HOW DO I?” question.
Let me ask you this… WHY HAVEN’T YOU CHANGED?
There’s a payoff for everything you do in life. If the payoff no longer serves you, commit to change.
To break through, begin by recognizing the habit. Your habits are a direct reflection of why you struggle.
When you have disempowering habits, you’ll be overwhelmed.
Disempowering habits are fostered by rebellion. If you grow up with people in your circle of influence that are rigid, neurotic, and no matter what you do it’s never good enough… it’s likely you’ll rebel. You may even rebel against yourself.
Rebelling against yourself won’t get you to the promise land.
Let me ask you this… Did you make your bed this morning? If you didn’t, ask yourself… why not? Who are you rebelling against?
Making your bed is a simple habit to practice. It’s an act of pride.
Changing your habits are a “one day at a time” process. All of your habits won’t change overnight.
Start with a few simple disciplines. With repetition and experience, the compounded effect of empowering habits will take place.
Admiral William H. McRaven gave a commencement address at the University of Texas at Austin in 2014 and spoke about this very topic.
Your disempowering habits are fostered by disempowering language. The two go together.
Language creates action.
Inaction creates inactivity.
If you aren’t taking action, you’re rebelling against the result. You’re not sure if you can control the outcome. If that’s you, these are habits that no longer serve you.
Even though you may know and understand that… you have to implement the emotional skills to let go of the cause that creates the effect of why you do what you do. This is what creates an attractor factor that is empowering.
Do you take the phrase “kind of” and turn it into “kinda?”
“Sort of” and turn it into “sorta?”
When you speak in riddles, you’ll attract people and situations to fulfill feelings of rejection and abandonment.
When you have disempowering language, you’ll use words like “guess.” I’m going to clean my closet, I guess, so I can be more organized. When you guess, it means you don’t trust yourself to KNOW. When you stop guessing, your habits begin to change.
Another phrase to be aware of is “need to.”
Need is a word of noncommitment. It’s one of the most commonly used words that edify not committing.
“I need to go to the store.”
“I need to change.”
“What I need to do . . .”
“I need to do this.”
“I need it now.”
Need perpetuates noncommitment. If you’re commitment-phobic, you’ll have challenges being decisive.
(To learn more about breaking disempowering language, listen to my podcast EPISODE 407 – LANGUAGE OF EMPOWERMENT)
The Process of Change
If your brain is emotionally addicted… begin by taking a deep breath.
Drop down in your lower abdomen and feel the release. The release creates an emotional state of awareness for about eight to fifteen seconds.
This allows you to be present.
You’re here. You’re now. There’s no significance to the future and no regret from the past. You’re able to communicate differently with yourself and others.
Becoming the NEW you takes daily effort.
One day at a time, begin to speak a language of empowerment, commitment, and decision.
This creates a new state of consciousness.
Identify disempowering habits like being chronically late.
OR being worried all the time.
Let go of overwhelm. When you’re overwhelmed, you’ll be unorganized. When you’re disorganized, you have a lot of clutter. Then you’ll get behind. You won’t be able to manage the moving parts in your life.
You’ll sound like this…
“I don’t know where to start.”
“I don’t know where to begin.”
“How do I? How do I? How do I?”
“Would someone please tell me the rules?”
“If someone would just show me the blueprint.”
“If someone would tell me what to do, I’ll do it.”
It’s not what you do.
It’s who you BE.
You be in a state of recovery.
You start to change your behaviors that create your habits. You begin to have emotional discipline.
Discipline takes on a different context in recovery. Discipline doesn’t mean that someone is going to discipline you or discipline is hard. Discipline means you become a disciple—a disciple of success, a disciple of recovery.